On the eve of the one year anniversary of losing my Jeep, and then my Instagram in the span of two weeks last February, my 5 month non-stop ordeal trying to handle matters after my father passed still continues, and This is a “Saturday update”.
My mother( #jaysgoflMom )knee surgery is rescheduled for the end of March, but that deserves it’s own path diverged, story-wise…
In the meantime, I’m working on doing a refi of the existing mortgage and placing my name on the Deed/title. If all that goes through then I don’t have to pay inheritance tax on the house provided mom lives 1yr past the date that I sign the paperwork. And the clock on the 5yr Medicare “look back” starts ticking as well. So if she doesn’t outlive her money in that 5yr time frame, for instance, if she runs out of money 6yrs out, Medicare (the Feds), cannot take “my/the/our” house. And of course if her health fails, say in 3yrs, and she passes, then it’s moot.
This being the decision come to as to what is best for my mom after 5+ months in the School or Hard Knocks majoring in “Elder Care”. This warrants me writing a book over a blog post or two. Let me know if you’d like that in the comments! (or if you have any questions, I probably know the answer or can steer you in the right direction to find it.)
So, with that decision made, I have “junk movers” coming over to give me an estimate on Tuesday. Essentially, I’m going to clear out the house in much the same way as we had planned if we ere going to sell it had we found an appropriate facility for my mom. Difference now being that I’m moving back and we are going to take a minimalist approach to furnishing/living in the home. (Physically and financially). Neither of us need a massive coffee table or 10 person dining set “getting in the way”. What is more, the house is already 80% disability-friendly, Bathroom, entrance, stairs, etc.
I’d like to move back and be settled before the date of her surgery I’ll be much more able to handle her needs post surgery if I no longer have to worry about my apartment 13 miles away. That said, another lawyer that was friends with my dad happens to have a client that is “move in ready” that could take over my lease, provided the management company will allow it. Said lawyer is going to try to help facilitate that outcome. I meet with him Monday. It would be lovely if I can avoid the financial penalty of breaking the lease.
The last few days I’ve also been working on doing my parents taxes for 2022. That has proved to be overwhelming. I have never prepared my parents taxes before, have you?! Not unless you’re a CPA!
I’m also trying to think how the hell I’m going to afford all of the above. The financial pressure of all this is the cause of 70% of my insomnia. The other 30% is thinking about the logistics of all the above! And as I scroll on the Tok, I see guru’s telling me how vital sleep is, or worse, Dak Prescott! (I bleed Green)
Those are the Highlights I guess. There’s still everything else that I’ve had to continue to take care of since September. That week to week chaos has not slowed one bit.
I never thought this would be so difficult! Nothing has been “easy”. Not to say dealing with and handling matters after a loved one has died should be, but I feel like this is just abnormal. Am I off base when I think that?
I see other people living with a devil may care attitude and/or have the art of bullshit mastered and seem to come out of situations better off than when they started. To a point I’m dreadfully envious! That can’t be real, let alone sustainable, can it?!
I just want my jeep back and escape to the Outer Banks!
